Day 360.
If days were degrees, I would have made a full revolution around the grief that comes from losing my mother very suddenly to a car accident.
Actually, I lost my mother to a torn aorta and subsequent exsanguination.
full circle.
it sounds so final and yet I know that the end will arrive at MY end, and that until that day, there will be a part f me that is always grieving for her.
5 days until the DAY
I want to take strength from this loss...I need to figure out how.
I am mired in my own fears, and yet I can see the extended hand that wants to pull me free.
I have the muscle behind me to push me on, and yet I remain in the familiar.
too scared to leave the known behind, and so I will
fuck fear\
swallow it and move move move one step at a time
each second is one second closer to my eventual death
spinning these wheels won't get me farther down my path
gotta dig in and fight myself FREE
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